Year 2019 has arrived with a smile,
2018 just went by;
Taught about Love, care, gratitude and patience,
Guided in stress, anger, attitude and resistance;
Family, Friends, Colleagues, Collegiates,
Yeasayers, Naysayers, Supervisors, Subordinates,
In your absence there would be no meaning,
My earth wouldn't revolve, my heart wont be beating;
Some of you loved me for what I was,
Others found me failing in many tasks;
All in all the year kept me full,
With challenges, cheers, and rare moments of lull;
Will cherish each moment, person and relation,
Acknowledging feelings, emotions and expressions;
Thank You for being yourself in front and rear,
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year !
Monday, December 31, 2018
Happy New Year 2019 !
Thursday, February 1, 2018
'9 months' of Mom To Be - Chapter 3
Somebody recently asked me, 'how does it feel to be pregnant?', and surprisingly I was at loss of words. I started recollecting those 10-11 months; how did it really feel, month by month, each trimester with its own story gave different set of emotions. This post has the entire drama of my pregnancy captured so is a long one !
As shared in one of my previous blogs, it all started in Nov 2016 with the decision, followed by planned and medically supervised conception. Nov-Dec were the times of maximum anxiety; whether we were under right guidance, whether things would work well for us, what if they did't, how far would we take the support of science and such endless considerations kept us on our heels.
With highest number of visits to doctor ever in a span of 2 months, one fine day I was browsing the internet about 'false positive' results in home pregnancy test kits. We had heard of so many challenges that people face with attempts of supported conception that my first test giving those faint positive was too incidental, and they were faint, (like too faint), so I was sure of incorrect result. But all over internet, each blog and QnA said that only explanation to false positive result of this test is that 'it was positive', which was unbelievable. Next step was blood test for HCG levels, that too was positive; then day 3 HCG levels ( in case pregnant HCG doubles each day). That day when my husband returned from workplace, his fist words were 'whats the result?' and my answer was a tiny baby cap with chocolates and the result that said my levels had increased 4 times; so yes, my pregnancy was established. There were smiles, sparkle in eyes, and a mood of elation at home, if things went well for next 8-9 months, we would be 'mumma-daddy' to our bundle of joy.
Besides my husband and some of my girlfreinds whom I consulted during my confusion of really being pregnant or not, first ones to hear the news were my parents. I somehow feel that they were happier than I was; I still had my apprehensions and anxiety , but my mapa stood rock solid with me and throughout encouraged our baby plans. If it weren't for them I would not have had half as comfortable gestation period as I had.
So yes I was pregnant and entire universe was at my service to keep me healthy, happy and safe. We all have heard stories of morning sickness and food cravings during pregnancy, and here I was waiting for them. Morning sickness was nowhere around, instead I had evening nausea that kept food craving at bay, and made me have food aversions instead. Thus most of my first trimester was about discovering and acknowledging my pregnancy.I feared evenings as they brought acidity and nausea that caused strong dislike for many (once enjoyed) foods and smells. I kept reading what would help, but realized that no remedy actually efficiently works, one has to sail through it. Only thing that I comfortably ingested was sweet-sour-salty Banana chaat (bananas + black-salt + sugar + chat masala + lemon juice + chilies). There were some peaceful days too, when I could breathe in the smells and eat curry and roti, but such nights made my caring husband worried, and even question me. 'is everything ok inside, why are you behaving so normal?'. :)
As we stepped into my second trimester (my entire home was living my pregnancy together), it was time to get some tests and scans done to ensure that everything was going well, and probably even see our little baby cozying in my belly. I was scanned for about an hour, even made to take an ice-cream break (oh I was so craving for strawberry ice-cream that day) and scanned again to show us a smiling, almost waving, cross legged tiny cute creature in my tummy (though the pictures handed by radiologist made it look like an alien baby :P). We were so happy that I remember taking a small trip around the nearby touristy places and lunching at our favorite restaurant.
With my baby growing inside, my tummy too was visibly growing with each passing week and so was the attention from all. Almost everyone pictured himself/herself as my counselor and enlightened me with some golden advice for healthy baby, normal delivery, early recovery and/or every possible thing they could. I mostly was all ears,but at times only showed a listening face while merely hearing. This was the most comfortable time of pregnancy with nausea gone, weight not yet pinnacled and aroused taste buds awakening the foodie within. I was shopping, eating-out, nesting and was happily productive at workplace too.
Then started the final countdown of third trimester. My rapidly growing weight made my entire wardrobe fail as my weighing scale was showing numbers I could never have imagined. The weight and big tummy made it very difficult to sleep comfortably, and I was almost always out of breath. Anxiety was at its peak with so much to be done before my baby came into our lives; baby shopping, sanitizing home, maternity/nursing wear, hospital bag, winding up pending tasks at office and all this while being extremely careful with my huge body on tiny feet. I was doing everything as per a checklist and I knew that as things were getting struck off, so was my baby readying itself to step out. I had been quite active throughout the 9 months, had been doing 30min yoga sessions and 40min walk, but with finale nearing all was to be intensified and oriented for a normal delivery. I was even taking stairs now, doing more squats, and many more additional exercises while carrying extra 25kgs (many including my doc advised to sweep floors in 9th month but I really gave deaf ear to that).
My due date was mid Sept, but on 30-Aug visit my doc said I could have my baby anytime then; this gave us all butterflies in stomach. Since my dad and hubby both worked more than 30km away, they decided to take turns to stay at home for until I delivered.We started rechecking our lists to ensure our readiness, if everything was bought/packed, if home was baby ready, if clothes and covering for baby were ready or not; I was reiterating the things to be done/picked by my family when the time comes. We always kept our bags in vicinity if in case we had to rush. I was worried of traffic jams and diversions and curfews, that make the Bollywood protagonists deliver while on way to hospital, whereas my mom was worried of hurrying in middle of night. One week passed and nothing happened, no pain, no contractions, so no show, On 07-Sep we visited doc again, and again she said anytime now, even gave some tips/tricks to induce contractions naturally. Also said that after due date (16-Sep) she would recommend to get admitted as delaying further will make things troublesome for mother as well as baby. I further intensified my exercise, drank a lot of ghee, even consumed castor oil and followed various suggestions to induce labor, but nothing happened. It was Friday 15-Sep and 2 weeks since 30-Aug were over, I was due on Saturday and was anyway to be admitted on Sunday evening, I was quiet upset to realize that my body was not working the way I wanted to, At 6am on Saturday morning my husband left for railway station to pick my in-laws and at about 8am I knew that my baby was coming exactly on my Expected Delivery Date.
With regular and intense contractions I met my doc around noon, got admitted at 1pm and with a lot of labor and hardwork, I saw my little angel at about 6pm in the evening.
My tummy was lighter, I could breath easily, I was sore and tired and hungry, I felt too emotional; I was a mom now, life would never be same again; and I would so very miss being pregnant !
As we stepped into my second trimester (my entire home was living my pregnancy together), it was time to get some tests and scans done to ensure that everything was going well, and probably even see our little baby cozying in my belly. I was scanned for about an hour, even made to take an ice-cream break (oh I was so craving for strawberry ice-cream that day) and scanned again to show us a smiling, almost waving, cross legged tiny cute creature in my tummy (though the pictures handed by radiologist made it look like an alien baby :P). We were so happy that I remember taking a small trip around the nearby touristy places and lunching at our favorite restaurant.
With my baby growing inside, my tummy too was visibly growing with each passing week and so was the attention from all. Almost everyone pictured himself/herself as my counselor and enlightened me with some golden advice for healthy baby, normal delivery, early recovery and/or every possible thing they could. I mostly was all ears,but at times only showed a listening face while merely hearing. This was the most comfortable time of pregnancy with nausea gone, weight not yet pinnacled and aroused taste buds awakening the foodie within. I was shopping, eating-out, nesting and was happily productive at workplace too.
Then started the final countdown of third trimester. My rapidly growing weight made my entire wardrobe fail as my weighing scale was showing numbers I could never have imagined. The weight and big tummy made it very difficult to sleep comfortably, and I was almost always out of breath. Anxiety was at its peak with so much to be done before my baby came into our lives; baby shopping, sanitizing home, maternity/nursing wear, hospital bag, winding up pending tasks at office and all this while being extremely careful with my huge body on tiny feet. I was doing everything as per a checklist and I knew that as things were getting struck off, so was my baby readying itself to step out. I had been quite active throughout the 9 months, had been doing 30min yoga sessions and 40min walk, but with finale nearing all was to be intensified and oriented for a normal delivery. I was even taking stairs now, doing more squats, and many more additional exercises while carrying extra 25kgs (many including my doc advised to sweep floors in 9th month but I really gave deaf ear to that).
My due date was mid Sept, but on 30-Aug visit my doc said I could have my baby anytime then; this gave us all butterflies in stomach. Since my dad and hubby both worked more than 30km away, they decided to take turns to stay at home for until I delivered.We started rechecking our lists to ensure our readiness, if everything was bought/packed, if home was baby ready, if clothes and covering for baby were ready or not; I was reiterating the things to be done/picked by my family when the time comes. We always kept our bags in vicinity if in case we had to rush. I was worried of traffic jams and diversions and curfews, that make the Bollywood protagonists deliver while on way to hospital, whereas my mom was worried of hurrying in middle of night. One week passed and nothing happened, no pain, no contractions, so no show, On 07-Sep we visited doc again, and again she said anytime now, even gave some tips/tricks to induce contractions naturally. Also said that after due date (16-Sep) she would recommend to get admitted as delaying further will make things troublesome for mother as well as baby. I further intensified my exercise, drank a lot of ghee, even consumed castor oil and followed various suggestions to induce labor, but nothing happened. It was Friday 15-Sep and 2 weeks since 30-Aug were over, I was due on Saturday and was anyway to be admitted on Sunday evening, I was quiet upset to realize that my body was not working the way I wanted to, At 6am on Saturday morning my husband left for railway station to pick my in-laws and at about 8am I knew that my baby was coming exactly on my Expected Delivery Date.
With regular and intense contractions I met my doc around noon, got admitted at 1pm and with a lot of labor and hardwork, I saw my little angel at about 6pm in the evening.
My tummy was lighter, I could breath easily, I was sore and tired and hungry, I felt too emotional; I was a mom now, life would never be same again; and I would so very miss being pregnant !
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