पानी था

पानी था

नदी थी, तालाब था,

या शायद सैलाब था,

नाँव थी, पतवार थी,

पतवार चला रहे थे हम।

ऊँची इमारत थी,

छत थी, सीढ़ी थी,

पर मुँडेर पर लटके थे हम,

कोई मदद को आ रहा था,

वहीं अटके थे हम।

कहीं दूर गए थे,

कुछ काम था, देर हो रही थी,

काम हुया नही था, 

पर निबटाना था, 

वापस घर जाना था।

बारिश थी, 

पुल था, नदी थी,

बाढ़ आ रही थी शायद,

सन्नाटा बहुत था,

घर जा रहे थे हम।

नींद थी,

थकान थी, सोच परेशान थी,

घर कमरा बिस्तर दिखते ही

लेट गए थे, सोना था,

पर आँखे बंद की और देखा,

पानी था !

Happy New Year 2019 !

Year 2019 has arrived with a smile,
2018 just went by;
Taught about Love, care, gratitude and patience,
Guided in stress, anger, attitude and resistance;
Family, Friends, Colleagues, Collegiates,
Yeasayers, Naysayers, Supervisors, Subordinates,
In your absence there would be no meaning,
My earth wouldn't revolve, my heart wont be beating;
Some of you loved me for what I was,
Others found me failing in many tasks;
All in all the year kept me full,
With challenges, cheers, and rare moments of lull;
Will cherish each moment, person and relation,
Acknowledging feelings, emotions and expressions;
Thank You for being yourself in front and rear,
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year !

'9 months' of Mom To Be - Chapter 3

Somebody recently asked me, 'how does it feel to be pregnant?', and surprisingly I was at loss of words. I started recollecting those 10-11 months; how did it really feel, month by month, each trimester with its own story gave different set of emotions. This post has the entire drama of my pregnancy captured so is a long one !

As shared in one of my previous blogs, it all started in Nov 2016 with the decision, followed by planned and medically supervised conception. Nov-Dec were the times of maximum anxiety; whether we were under right guidance, whether things would work well for us, what if they did't, how far   would we take the support of science and such endless considerations kept us on our heels.

With highest number of visits to doctor ever in a span of 2 months, one fine day I was browsing the internet about 'false positive' results in home pregnancy test kits. We had heard of so many challenges that people face with attempts of supported conception that my first test giving those faint positive was too incidental, and they were faint, (like too faint), so I was sure of incorrect result. But all over internet, each blog and QnA said that only explanation to false positive result of this test is that 'it was positive', which was unbelievable. Next step was blood test for HCG levels, that too was positive; then day 3 HCG levels ( in case pregnant HCG doubles each day). That day when my husband returned from workplace, his fist words were 'whats the result?' and my answer was a tiny baby cap with chocolates and the result that said my levels had increased 4 times; so yes, my pregnancy was established. There were smiles, sparkle in eyes, and a mood of elation at home, if things went well for next 8-9 months, we would be 'mumma-daddy' to our bundle of joy.

Besides my husband and some of my girlfreinds whom I consulted during my confusion of really being pregnant or not, first ones to hear the news were my parents. I somehow feel that they were happier than I was; I still had my apprehensions and anxiety , but my mapa stood rock solid with me and throughout encouraged our baby plans. If it weren't for them I would not have had half as comfortable gestation period as I had.

So yes I was pregnant and entire universe was at my service to keep me healthy, happy and safe. We all have heard stories of morning sickness and food cravings during pregnancy, and here I was waiting for them. Morning sickness was nowhere around, instead I had evening nausea that kept food craving at bay, and made me have food aversions instead. Thus most of my first trimester was about discovering and acknowledging my pregnancy.I feared evenings as they brought acidity and nausea that caused strong dislike for many (once enjoyed) foods and smells. I kept reading what would help, but realized that no remedy actually efficiently works, one has to sail through it. Only thing that I comfortably ingested was sweet-sour-salty Banana chaat (bananas + black-salt + sugar + chat masala + lemon juice + chilies). There were some peaceful days too, when I could breathe in the smells and eat curry and roti, but such nights made my caring husband worried, and even question me. 'is everything ok inside, why are you behaving so normal?'. :)

As we stepped into my second trimester (my entire home was living my pregnancy together), it was time to get some tests and scans done to ensure that everything was going well, and probably even see our little baby cozying in my belly. I was scanned for about an hour, even made to take an ice-cream break (oh I was so craving for strawberry ice-cream that day) and scanned again to show us a smiling, almost waving, cross legged tiny cute creature in my tummy (though the pictures handed by radiologist made it look like an alien baby :P). We were so happy that I remember taking a small trip around the nearby touristy places and lunching at our favorite restaurant. 

With my baby growing inside, my tummy too was visibly growing with each passing week and so was the attention from all. Almost everyone pictured himself/herself as my counselor and enlightened me with some golden advice for healthy baby, normal delivery, early recovery and/or every possible thing they could. I mostly was all ears,but at times only showed a listening face while merely hearing. This was the most comfortable time of pregnancy with nausea gone, weight not yet pinnacled and aroused taste buds awakening the foodie within. I was shopping, eating-out, nesting and was happily productive at workplace too.

Then started the final countdown of third trimester. My rapidly growing weight made my entire wardrobe fail as my weighing scale was showing numbers I could never have imagined.  The weight and big tummy made it very difficult to sleep comfortably, and I was almost always out of breath. Anxiety was at its peak with so much to be done before my baby came into our lives; baby shopping, sanitizing home, maternity/nursing wear, hospital bag, winding up pending tasks at office and all this while being extremely careful with my huge body on tiny feet. I was doing everything as per a checklist and I knew that as things were getting struck off, so was my baby readying itself to step out. I had been quite active throughout the 9 months, had been doing 30min yoga sessions and 40min walk, but with finale nearing all was to be intensified and oriented for a normal delivery. I was even taking stairs now, doing more squats, and many more additional exercises while carrying extra 25kgs (many including my doc advised to sweep floors in 9th month but I really gave deaf ear to that).

My due date was mid Sept, but on 30-Aug visit my doc said I could have my baby anytime then; this gave  us all butterflies in stomach. Since my dad and hubby both worked more than 30km away, they decided to take turns to stay at home for until I delivered.We started rechecking our lists to ensure our readiness, if everything was bought/packed, if home was baby ready, if clothes and covering for baby were ready or not; I was reiterating the things to be done/picked by my family when the time comes. We always kept our bags in vicinity if in case we had to rush. I was worried of traffic jams and diversions and curfews, that make the Bollywood protagonists deliver while on way to hospital, whereas my mom was worried of hurrying in middle of night. One week passed and nothing happened, no pain, no contractions, so no show, On 07-Sep we visited doc again, and again she said anytime now, even gave some tips/tricks to induce contractions naturally. Also said that after due date (16-Sep) she would recommend to get admitted as delaying further will make things troublesome for mother as well as baby. I further intensified my exercise, drank a lot of ghee, even consumed castor oil and followed various suggestions to induce labor, but nothing happened. It was Friday 15-Sep and 2 weeks since 30-Aug were over, I was due on Saturday and was anyway to be admitted on Sunday evening, I was quiet upset to realize that my body was not working the way I wanted to, At 6am on Saturday morning my husband left for railway station to pick my in-laws and at about 8am I knew that my baby was coming exactly on my Expected Delivery Date.

With regular and intense contractions I met my doc around noon, got admitted at 1pm and with a lot of labor and hardwork, I saw my little angel at about 6pm in the evening.

My tummy was lighter, I could breath easily, I was sore and tired and hungry, I felt too emotional; I was a mom now, life would never be same again; and I would so very miss being pregnant !

Mommy to the 'Mom-to-be' - Chapter 2

It is often said that 'you realize a mom's outlook only when you become one'; I am about to be one soon but still am unable to comprehend the level of selflessness that she can exhibit. Mothers toil beyond their physical and emotional stamina to ensure their child is happy, healthy, safe and successful. Their contentment lies in the peaceful sleep their children get, the fulfilling cheer their children radiate, the praise,victory, promotion their children achieve; all that is possessed by their children is somehow gained and celebrated by mothers.

Like any other growing kid, there had been times when I was so angered with my mom that I, foolishly, even dedicated some lyrical laments to her ! But that or anything else could never defy the love flowing in our veins for each other. My mapa have always meant world to me, and my pregnancy has reaffirmed that if I am any good or capable of anything from being a worker, wife or women, its all their achievement. I mean mirror to them, and they have put their sweat and blood to ensure the best possible reflection

During my entire pregnancy, I have had a concrete support from mapa who made sure that while being a good wife, I was always comfortable, eating right, exercising well, medically fit and happy to serve the best gestation period; having heard and read varied pregnancy challenges that people face, I wonder how it were to be pregnant without mom living with me, as truly speaking I had none. Its not that we never had arguments or disagreements on what would be right for the baby or even the child' future, but now when I silently rethink about those discussions I thank mom for all the perspectives she knowingly or unknowingly imparted.

Its embarrasing as well as amazing to realize that at times, unknowingly, we do emotionally violate our parents, but the unmistakable confidence in their upbringing never makes them look down upon us.

I always knew and acknowldged that if there was a recipe to cook the person/being/thinker I am, it would have 60% of my mom, 30% of my dad and only 10% of rest of the world, yet I doubt if I can ever be even an iota of the Godliness resplendent in mommy to this 'mom-to-be' !

'Mom-to-be' in Me - Chapter 1

Each human has DNA so long that could uncoil up till Pluto and back, nerve cells that need 3000 years to be counted, yet all this and much more is created in a small womb in a time span of merely 9 months, like a bleep in universe. Though reproducing is natural for every living creature on the planet, yet each being senses a uniqueness for oneself. I too have my own unique little journey traversed so far.

November 2016 saw us complete 5 tangy wedlocked years filled with thrills and frills, we had checked many adventurous trips, tasks and travels in our bucket list, and now it was time to take a break and get into wordly matters for next some years. After a perfect celebration of our 5th anniversary at Anadaman and Nicobar, we took the conscious decision to take the leap of parenthood. One fine day in the next few months, I had 2 paralleled positive lines on pregnancy test kit, we were bestowed with the tiny marvel of a sprouting life in my womb.

I have always been astonished by babies for the package of miracles they are, but never have I had the courage to be playful with them; for the fear of responsibilities they impose, to be handled with care, to not to be taught wrong, to be respected yet restricted, to pamper yet discipline; children translated complications to me. And here I am today, counting days to hug and cuddle my own bundle of complexities.

Tiny socks that should not itch; small caps that should not tickle; cot-&-crib that should be comfortable; diapering that should not trouble; clothes that should be easy to put on; such is my browsing trail these days. Reading babycare blogs, sanitizing each corner of house, nesting and shopping for the baby, are coming naturally to me. Being in 9th month of pregnancy my only agenda these days is to be ready for the new human being I am soon to give birth to !

Andamans Diaries

The Arrival

“Like all great travelers, I remember more than I have seen and I have seen more than I remember’: such is what I became after my last holiday.

We were to complete half a decade of our marriage and making it a memory was the agenda. There were many options, a 2 days’ resort stay, 4 days to Egypt, dinner with family & friends, but instead we rekindled our 2years old plan decided to go to Archipelago of Indian subcontinent. Having toured with many agencies earlier, we chose the most reliable and customized package providers, AnN Holidays – Andamans and Nicobar for Ajita and Nisheeth. So yes we made our own itinerary, decided our commute, booked our hotels, and bought the flight tickets. Having done it all ourselves, I assure you that it is a pure adrenaline rush to plan and book a holiday to a place that you and your sources have never been to! Overcoming all the differences, difficulties and deviations in due course of time, we finally were all packed and ready to depart for airport at 10pm of Friday night on 04^th Nov 2016.

In those last some hours, we somehow felt the need of checking the days’ weather conditions at islands. Speculating a hot weather, we grabbed our phone and asked, “hey Siri! How’s the weather in Andamans and Nicobar today?’, came the reply, “mostly cloudy with intermediate rains and thunderstorms”.

With only 3hrs to leave home, while reconsidering our bookings, cancellations, charges, we called our Hotel manager in the islands to enquire; Mr. Kannan assured us of “normal normal weather madam” and so we decided to move ahead. There were some apprehensions involved with trip to Andamans & Nicobar Islands; it has a very tragic history in Indian fight for Independence, it has had a devastating catastrophe during the Christmas Tsunami -2004 and we had a trip cancelled in 2014 too! But this year was different, we were completing 5years of our marriage and were determined to make it big, so riding our cab we reached Indira Gandhi International Airport at 0230am to board our flight at 0520am.

Our flight was flanked with some sleep, some fear of weather conditions and lot of excitement. Finally, at 1000am we landed on damp runway of Vir Savarkar Airport. I had just stopped raining and was an overcast all around. We were catch a ferry at 1030, so immediately rushed into the cab and reached the jetty (all our govt ferry bookings were pre-done by our Hotel Manager Mr. Kannan and Tickets were handed to us by the driver). It was the first time I saw so may ships anchored in their full glory, some aging in the sparkling waters and other shining bright like fresh arrivals. But our arrival at jetty in Port Blair was not about my awe for the harbor or the ship, instead standing the vast expanse without any shed we were foreseeing our colorful beach side holiday dreams getting washed by the weather.

Journey Continues (05^th Nov 2016)

Next 2hours and half were to be spent in lap of ‘Rani Laxmi’, the govt ferry that was to take us from Port Blair to Neil Islands. This aging ferry had split ACs and pedestal fans tied and taped to walls and poles of the seating area and surprisingly worked just fine for their purpose. The seats were comfortable and the small glass peep holes close to the ceiling gave view of never ending ocean on both sides of the ferry. In such interesting surroundings, our tired bodies drenched in rains were only helping us to speculate how would we save and still enjoy our rainy days in Andamans. Half asleep and half anxious, we were sailing through the seas when finally hooting of our ferry indicated that the days’ travel was to end soon, and we were to step on the port of Neil Island. Following the crowd, we joined the queue to step up and out in the open and brave the weather, and as we did we were astonished!

The sun was shining bright in the freshly washed skies, the waters were being made sparkle by rays of the Sun and there were people doing water skiing and driving water scooters all around. That very moment made us forget our 10hrs of sleepless tiresome journey and filled us with spirit to soak up the Sun till it was shining bright. So while on our way to resort, we covered as many scenic sites as possible; we took a small trek to the natural rock bridge called Howrah Bridge, and then drove through the beautiful tropical countryside, finally reaching the Pearl Park Beach resort; quickly changed into dry clothes, ordered lunch and right when we were discussing to walk to Laxmangarh Beach, it rained or instead poured heavily.

With no option left, we lent umbrellas from hotel reception, and walked back in to our warm, dry, comfortable bed of the hotel room. I think it was hardly 15min in bed and I was sleeping already, dreaming of a sunny beachside. Suddenly Nisheeth desperately got out of bed saying, “I have not come here to sleep! Will walk out anyway." I was not at all in mood to wet another set of clothes, so while I was thinking about damp clothes and soaked sandals, Nisheeth opened the door, and it opened like a lid of surprise box, that showed us gleaming Sun once again. I jumped out of bed, picked the umbrella, held Nisheeth’ arm and was ready to walk in the Sun.

Flanked with the beautiful, long, lush green trees, the path to beach was almost a tropical forest that suddenly held itself back to a white pristine sandy beach. What a scene it was! I was not sure what was more beautiful, the green reverse-horse-shoe like forest behind me or the never ending blue ocean in front with virgin beach beneath my feet. Being there made me realize what romantic meant and felt. I was happy and contented, like I found my heaven, my peace, with Nisheeth on my side. Next some hours until late we were on the beach, then on a view point, just sitting, smiling, breathing in the ocean air and taking pictures. This was exactly what we had come for, to be calm and do nothing but celebrate each other. These few hours were the most poetic moments of my life so far. I was happy to have completed 5 years with my man, and cherishing to continue the journey together, forever.

Neil Island – In and Beyond (06^th Nov 2016)
The day of our 5^th marriage anniversary started early. Treasuring the togetherness, we took a romantic morning stroll around the beautiful resort, captured our final hours around and checked out from Pearl Park Beach Resort. At around 8am we were on the main beach of Neil Island, Bharatpur Beach, where the real action was. Amongst other options available, we booked for scuba diving for one and glass bottom boat ride for one. I was the one who was to dive, while Nisheeth chose the more relaxing option of staying above the ocean and enjoying birds eye view of sea bed.

 Though it was the second time I would dive, having done it in Bali earlier, I needed Nisheeth to accompany me on boat to the site till I got into the water, as I did have a hint of anxiety somewhere in me. After a small brief about diving, signaling, instructions, SOS guidelines, taking a deep breath I plunged head first in the ocean, practiced some breathing and normalizing, and then was taken to the heaven beneath. I do not have pictures of this dive, but the memories are ever so outlandish. It was not just the fish, it was everything, the soft sea bed, the school of fish playing around, the oh so alive corals and some mysterious looking colorful creatures in clear ocean. I was so comfortable deep down there, like I almost belonged there, though the pressure was hitting my ears on-and-off, yet the beauty around made me quickly puff the pressure out, like it was something I did daily to stay inside. The charismatic play of ocean life lasted for some 20-30 minutes, and it was time to be back up to my hubby. I came to him only to realize that that he had already taken a dip and done some snorkeling.  Oh it did feel good to breathe through nostrils again, but I was already missing the magic of ocean around me.

While we were thinking that our boat will turn around, our team of India Scuba Explorers had a plan to stay instead, so they made us take another boat to beach, and voila! It was a glass bottom boat ride to the beach. Having been inside already I was amazed to see how clean the water was that I could see and recognize the same corals from top too! On reaching the beach we were even refunded the money for booked glass bottom boat ride as the experience was already enjoyed(registration desk not knowing about our return).

It was not even midday and we already had had a very happy anniversary so far! We still had some more time to feel the tranquil of this beautiful beach, to sit, to lie down and to take plenty pose-y pictures. The time flew fast and soon we boarded the ferry2 to Havelock, the largest island of Ritchie’s’ Archipelago.

  

Heartlock at Havelock (06^th Nov 2016)

The day continued to be balmy and welcoming as we arrived at Havelock jetty. We had already done so much that our hunger pangs directly took us to nearby eatery called ‘Barefoot Bar and Brasserie’, where with the site of sunny ocean, sitting on classic woody table, we relinquished our tropical drinks and Israeli food, with pleasure! Next was to reach our resort and give ourselves some well-deserved rest, as evening was already planned to be lavish.

Havelock Beach Island resort was the place we stayed at and by around 7pm we were chauffered to Munjoh Resort for our beachside, candlelit, 5 course personalized Anniversary dinner. It was a cloudy night and so was dark as stars and moon were hidden, but the arrangement of camp on beach with candles and lamps around us, romance was in the air. Sitting hand-in-hand, listening to some of our favorite music, enjoying tasty sea food, we remembered and rekindled the 5years of our beautifully evolving bond. Off-course all the time was not rosy, but the sours were what made sweets even more special; there is nothing like a perfect marriage, but there definitely is a balanced happy one, and ours is just that. Holding hands, greeting the contentment in each other’s eyes, we concluded our 5years that day; with many more dreams to fulfill together.

Beach Hopping at Havelock (07^th Nov 2016)

As we woke up the next morning, our agenda was scooter ride to sites, beach sides and food bites. So we rented a scooter, fueled it up and started our day’s expedition to explore the gems of heavenly Havelock Island.

The green hillocks on both sides of road, fresh breeze from lush green forests, and happy islander children, made us forget the bumpy roads we were riding on. We took turns to drive and the ride was flanked with many stop overs and diversions. We even trekked to the crowded Elephant beach through marshy forest. We had taken a guide for the trek and trying to be chatty, I asked this young boy if he had ever been outside these islands, he said ‘Kolkata, it's a beautiful place to see but people are not very nice’. I further asked if he would go or live outside, to which he replied, “no, if I can instead stay here forever”. I was amazed with his content; there is hardly any riches in Havelock, but happiness factor is definitely very high. Struggling through the marsh, laughing through our slippery trek, arrival at beach was scenic as expected. First a natural stream of water washed our feet, then some dried trees and logs gave us astounding picture frames, and finally sea of people at sea side pepped our spirits. The place is so protected that one only gets fresh fruits and veggies to eat. No plastics and no disposables, not even packaged drinking water is available here. After spending enough time at this crowded beach (and getting into and out of a small fight on my missing some photographic moments), we tightened our belts, warmed ourselves up to once again cross the muddy, marshy, slippery forest to hit the road for our next site.

Braving through the trek, we once again grabbed our scooter and started moving ahead; next destination was Asia’s second most beautiful beach, Radhanagar Beach. The afternoon went by playing in the sea, trying to grab the waves, holding each other against small tides and being monitored for safety by lifeguards. As the afternoon folded, it was time for the awaited sunset at Radhanagar.  Suddenly we realized that there were hundreds of people on this vast semicircular beach to witness the surreal sunset. Captured in our memories and pictures are the moments worth losing our hearts for.

As the dusk fell, it was time for us to drive back to town and hunt for some exotic food. So after a lot of exploration, we reached this place called ‘Something Different – a beachside cafe’ (if at Havelock, a meal or two here is a must). The food, the ambience and hospitality you get here would warm your heart, satiate your taste buds and make the experience absolutely unforgettable.

Thus concluded another beautiful day at the Island and last at Havelock. We were to leave for Port Blair the next morning at 10am, so our sore bodies slept tight in cozy beds of our resort.

Homage and Humility – Port Blair (08^th Nov 2016)

Though we had thought to wake up early and pay a small visit to Kala Patthar Beach, our tired bodies instead chose to sleep a little more and made us directly head to Havelock Jetty to board the ‘Green Ocean’ ship to Port Blair (nevertheless I bought some amazing spices and fresh tamarind on way). Our plan was to reach Port Blair, have comforting food at some beautiful resort, visit the Cellular Jail, and head back to airport to catch our flight to home; so exactly we did!

It is worth mentioning here, that Cellular Jail is not just a memorial but a temple to pay homage to our heroes of freedom struggle. Every corner, every article kept in jail makes us realize that todays’ heaven called ‘Andamans’ was once a hell called ‘Kaala Paani’, named so after Sanskrit word ‘Kaal’  meaning ‘death’. Our hearts were filled with humility for the brave hearts of the men who fought for our free lives by giving away theirs.

I would not get into details of what we saw or what the Cellular Jail has on show, but the feeling it gives, leaves us with a lesson of selflessness for lifetime; recommending you all to visit cellular jail the last when at islands, it will soothe you down and make you love and respect your lives even more!

And so my Andamans Diaries concludes, hope you share yours sometime too.

Aaj mann kiya ki sabse naraaz ho jaaun

Us thandi chanchal hawa k jhoke se,

Jisne mere kaagaz uda diye;

Us chamakti deepak ki lau se,

Jisne andhere k sukoon ko cheer diya;

Mere bachpan ki pyaari si gudiya se,

Jisne mujhe bade ho jaane ka ehsaas karaa diya;

Mere ladakpan k us suhaane gaaane se,

Jisne kuchch sapno ko fir se yaad dila diya;

Maa ki pyaari si thapki se,

Jisne ab zimmedaar hone ka samay dikha diya;

Papa k us laad se,

Jisne mujhe fir se bachchi ho janey ko lalchaa diya;

Yaaron ki us tasveer se,

Jisne mujhe sachcha yaaranaa dikhaa diya;

Doston ki us hansi se,

Jisne unse milne ko tadpaa diya;

Ghar par rakkhey us paudhey se,

Jisne phoolon ka intezaar karaa diya;

Rasoi k choolhe se,

Jisne tumhaare liye banaayi roti ko tha jalaa diya;

Sheeshe mein meri parchhai se,

Jisne mere sajne ko fizool bataa diya;

Darwaaze ki ghanti se,

Jisne tumhaare na aane ka sach dikha diya;

Man kiya ki aaj sabse naraaz ho jaaun,

Sab se lad jaaun, Sab se rooth jaaun;

Na hansu, na gaaun,

Thoda ro loon, thoda chillau;

Aaj us jhoothi muskaan ko bhool jaaun,

Man kiya ki aaj sabse naraaz ho jaaun.

Common Mans Common Life

 

 

Its easy refuge, to just give up and fall,

but a part in me, still stands tall;

 

I don't know if it's my ego, or some hope,

if I am trying too much, or is it just out of scope;

 

There are a hundred things right, but a few too wrong,

seeking to hunt them down, to keep standing strong;

 

I am not aiming for perfection, I know its a myth,

just trying to mend what's broken, restoring what's amiss;

 

I know I am not special, nor is my life,

but to feel alive, I have to keep up with the tide;

 

To go a step further, to cross another mile,

to clear all hurdles, to go on feel agile;

 

I count my blessings, every single day,

to boost my morale and be steadfast in every way;

 

I am just a common man, living a common life,

dreaming common dreams, struggling common strife.

 

Trip to Wayanad - 2010

I am not one of those who look for a company to pass the time; instead I enjoy solitude and always try to make most of it, and when it comes to join a huge group on some leisure trip my mind goes on a toil to decide ‘to go or not to go’, so did it happen when a group of 20 decided to go for a weekender trip to a hill station in Kerala called Wayanad, around 220km from our accommodation at Coimbatore. I had numerous reasons to say ‘no’ to the trip; I’m not very fond of the group, I didn’t know about the place, it’s a hill station so I could get sick, I had other plans for weekend; but somehow I decided to join in, and now I think it was the best weekend I could have had.

The trip was planned in a very haphazard manner, ‘coz till the very last hour we didn’t know the total number of people, the tour plan that we would take up and the budget, yet we managed to leave the hostel at 2400hrs of the Friday night(with final head count of 16 and a budget of 2500 per head). The take off was good as the bus was a luxury deluxe with a flatron TV screen and surround sound home theatre facility (the only trouble was that the backs of the seat were still covered with plastics that made us li’l uncomfortable).

The next thing I remember was of saturday morning; when our bus stopped somewhere and we got down to see something that I had never seen before.  It was a treat to eyes and soul; we were on the face of a hill, and it seemed we were viewing the world from above the clouds. The greens were trying to peep from beneath the whites of clouds, and the browns of the rocks were steering through to make themselves visible. This was the very moment I said to myself ‘good that u came Ajita !’.

The caravan moved ahead and we reached a point from where we had to be divided in two groups to reach till our resort in jeeps, and I was mesmerized by this 3km jeep trek too; the untouched nature that rests in peace in the lap of these hills shared their joy with me. The tea plantations, the coffee bushes, the cardmom herbs, the beautiful forest flowers all seemed to welcome me with the best of the faces, thus we reached our resort, and to my amazement the resort too was perhaps a replica of the heavens (if something like that could exist). The natural stream water pool, the cute wooden cottages embedded into the hillocks, the lush green sheet that covered almost everything, now even us, and the fresh cool breeze freed me of all my inhibitions about the things to follow. Our cottage was at the highest point of the resort, and the resort was called ‘Rain Country Resort’. Wayanad is one the rainiest places of the country (yes on the lines of Cherapunji, so was told by our guide Anik, though we didn’t see any of it in the two days we spent there).

The day was flanked by two spectacular trips, one to Banasura dam, that is Asia’s second largest earthen damn, and two to the View Point. At Banasura dam when most decided to go for boating few of us chose to trek down the rocky dam till the water, and what an experience it was.  I had never seen such a clear water body before, though I have visited to lakes around Delhi, to Hardwar and such places but the serene beauty of this dam was a never before experience (I know mom would have never let me go down the way I did, but in her instruction she had asked to not to boat only and I didn’t ;) ).  The clear cold water, the comfortably warm sun, the beautiful protective hills and I; I felt inexplicably in sync with the nature. Some similar feelings engrossed me at the sheet View Point too; we were on a cliff that’s end ran down straight till as low as it could. There was a forest river encrusted in between the greens of the view, and for the icing were clouds floating on the greens and silver of the forest and the river. I could spend rest of my life sitting there and praising the beauty.

Thus the day’s outing concluded, with the movie 3 Idiots in the bus, and we were back to the replica of the Heavens, our resort. This Rain Country Resort looked amazingly pretty at night as well, the small ball lamps on the pathways dimly lighting the place looked like shining pearls encrusted at intervals that made the surroundings glow with theirs. For me the night concluded with a traditional Malayali Chicken and Fish preparation in dinner (as for others the night was flanked with a bonfire dance party for which I was too sleepy to attend, like few others too).

The next morning showed another face of the resort; as I stepped out of the cottage I could see and feel that I was standing in a cloud, and so was the cottage, the trees around and everything else that I could see.  We chose this time to go on a trek inside the resort to reach to the highest hill top, the trek was freshening for sure, but the final treat was outlandish. The top showed us the phenomenon of the three states, Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka, embracing each other in the witness of the skies, and now even us. Truly has been said for this place “God’s own country”.

After witnessing the glory of nature we checked out of the Rain Country Resort to marvel the man’s intelligence, we were heading towards the Edakal Caves that date back to 1400 B.C. . This cave was built due to a volcanic eruption that made a rock fall over two (‘Eda’ means 2 and ‘Kal’ means rock in the regional language), to give home to men who found it so. The encryptions and drawings carved on the rocks reminded me of my history classes when we were taught about the early stone-age man (wish we were given practical classes then to make us love the subject). I salute man for being so unbelievably intelligent (I wonder if we could be so fit in those stone ages).

Thus was my trip to Wayanad, refreshing, delightful and enlightening; a trip to experience nature’s miraculous creativity that man can never imitate; and a trip that made me realize that I could enjoy with myself in the big groups too.

A weekend at Livingstone : Chapter 3 Live Life King Size

Having experienced one of the most extreme adventure sports, the gush of thrill was still in our bloods. This trip had been very exhilarating so far, but what was to come next has amazed all who know and have seen our pictures of the day.

Africa is renowned for its wildlife and variety of Safari options, and Zambia is famous for one such extreme safari at ‘Mukuni Big 5’. The rustic route to the safari enclosure, flanked with thick forests on either side of rough patchy red-muddy road, with no traffic at all, counsels one for the forthcoming ultimacy.

Having got the passes and instructed by the facilitator, we marched our way bravely, with one sleek stick each, towards the King and Queen of the jungle. Following 40min walk was a royal experience with the Lion King strolling around and flirting with the Lioness, while they were trailed by us with their tails in our hands. Being marked by the king (with an invisible ink ;P), we emerged out of the forest with the Lion and Lioness petted by us. The respectful generosity of the Rulers of the Jungle has bestowed upon us the feeling of having tailed the royalty in real sense.

But this was not enough, and we went a little beyond our limits. Walking the King boosted our spirit to go ahead and play with the fastest living creatures; so there we were enjoying the company of three very agile Cheetahs in the middle of the wilds. I fail to recollect the names of the two other than the mischievous Lily, who had specially picked me as her favorite and constantly tried to hug me tight ;P; not to forget her mates warning glare into Nisheeth’s eyes (pictures show how loved he felt by him).

That concluded our Livingstone trip and we headed back to Lusaka, contended with the mind boggling everlasting beautiful memories, captured in our hearts, minds and cameras.

A weekend at Livingstone : Chapter 2 Jump of Life

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Visit to the Victoria Falls has given us a huge collection of scenic photographs that we'll cherish forever; but there is a set of photographs in the collection that gives us an adrenaline rush each time we see them. Heights, depths and adventure sports have always fascinated me and my husband and we do have our 'to-do' lists; one in my husbands 'to-do' list was to become 'have-done' here.

The Victoria Falls has been one of the worlds renowned bungee jumping sites, the 111m jump, from Victoria Falls Bridge over Zambezi river, between Zambia and Zimbabwe, has been a haven for adventure junkies.

The very step towards the bridge makes one's heart skip a beat or two upon the screams of jumpers scaling down the canyon walls, so did mine, specially knowing that my man would not miss the chance to do it. Fighting the constant conflict between difficulty, danger, desire and dare, the decision was taken, and there we were at the registration desk signing the indemnity bond. Craziness had taken us over; I am not sure who was more anxious, I or him, but we had eyes fixed and fear hidden to live a dream of 'being-there-done-that'.

I get exactly the same goose-flush every time I recollect the moment when my husband, clad in harness, was held by the instructor to step out of the platform and fall free. My heart didn't beat until the rope was full stretched and recoiled; that was the first moment I regained my conscious and clicked a photograph, the one that makes me feel a high of his desire being fulfilled, of having jumped 'the Jump of Life'.

Everybody clapped and enjoyed the jump, and I ran to the other end of the bridge to welcome my King who had just conquered the Victoria Gorge from Tip-to-Toe.

A weekend at Livingstone : Chapter 1 : Cloud that Thunders

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It was just two days that we had reached Lusaka and I was once again packing, though this time just a small weekend traveler sack bag, and the early next morning we had hit the road for Livingstone. Stopping at several places to stretch and flex our muscles; crossing many villages from Kafue to Mazabuka to Choma to Zimba, flanked or perhaps outlined with a variety of speed-breakers (from ass-shakers to back-breakers); cruising 600Kms in almost five hours and a half (thanks to Japanese roads) , we were finally at the historic city of Livingstone. Now named after the Scottish missionary explorer Sir David Livingstone, this town was earlier called Maramba but later renamed so, and listed amongst 'the UNESCO World Heritage Sites' for its splendid cascade of falling waters renowned today as 'the Victoria Falls'.

With 335ft high excitement (thats the max height of the fall) we reached the lodging facility of Jollyboys Camp Site, where a big poster of Mr Nangana-the crocodile welcomed us with a statement 'I Eat People' (typically wild welcome). Quickly finishing the check-in formalities and freshening up a little we headed straight to the pilgrimage of the day, The Falls.

While walking towards the wonder, from gates in the direction showed by Sir Livingstone, I could hear and feel the strong gush of water; soon the heavenly Victoria Falls, indigenously called 'Mosi-oa-Tunya', meaning 'Cloud that Thunders', was roaring loud in front of me. Though it was the commencement of the dry season (as per the climate statistic and fall standards), yet the enormousness of this water body could not be challenged. The height, expanse and depth I was experiencing was epitome of each.

Facing the lips of the waterfall that was once called 'the end of the world' by Arabs, I felt an unknown peace and gratitude to nature. Victoria Falls seemed to have carved itself to our amazement; multiple rainbows decorating 'Mosi' proved Davis Livingstone's words,“Scenes so lovely must have been gazed upon by angels in their flight”.These falls truly are natures way of reminding us that the greatest and prettiest marvels are still natural, and not man-made.

From Miss to Mrs in 24hrs.......................

November 6, 2011, Sun had not risen but I had risen out from bed to take a look on my mehendi; the deep red color on my hands and feet somehow tickled me inside (for first time, out of the 3 in all, I was truly happy for being beautifully clad in mehendi). Anxiously I grabbed the phone and spoke to a friend (who couldn't come to Allahabad) non stop for next one hour (she was surprised with my words as has always known me as a listener and not otherwise). 

Gradually everybody started getting up and out of beds, and moving into the festive and chatty moods. I could see almost everyone doing something or else relating to wedding, as all had been assigned some or other responsibility by my mapa (I felt alien to be spared from being given a task for a change ! Not that I mind ;)  ). All were in haste but I. I was in a state of peace with myself. I knew that 'tonight was going to be a night to change my life and me' and I had readied myself to experience this change.

A lot was planned for the day; Tilak had to be departed with my brothers to Nisheeth's place; Haldi ceremony had to take place; I had to go to the parlour. But to commence in order, the reverend Pandit Ji was late. I think finally someone was sent to his place to bring him and so his arrival obliged us and ceremonies officially started.

It was the day that was to have me keep changing dresses. First was haldi ceremony in a yellow cotton saree (Dress no.1). I surely enjoyed the short and sweet ceremony, with ladies humming sweet traditional songs and naughtily applying haldi on me. I felt very pure and country like. But as soon as it was over, everybody got into their true selves and got after my life to hurry up and clean up and eat and leave for parlour (ironical !! all took their own sweet time to cover me with Haldi but expected me to get ready and leave for Parlour at earliest ! unfair !). But being myself, I managed ( :P ) and left in time with two of my girlfriends. 

I was very tensed for how I will look finally (I am not a bling-bling girl and the parlour though reputed in town was new for me at least). After 3hrs long torture to my neck and back (for being made sit in awkward posture) I rose from chair to have a look at myself (bearing around 10kgs of clothes and ornaments), and the look made me comfortable (Ok yes ! I was happy with the job done by make up artist  ;) ). After few final touch ups, we left parlour for the venue (in Dress No. 2 for the day). Back there everyone went crazy taking pictures even before I could actually get inside. Solo-pictures, group-pictures,posed-pictures, picture-pictures; I felt like a celebrity in front of shutterbugs (no one asked for autographs though  ;) ).

Now while I and my friends were having final few moments before my stepping out of spinster-hood and stepping into a new world, I could listen to thumping of bands and crackling of crackers. My heart pounded as my groom and his baraat was approaching to me. I was too curious to have a look, and finally sprung to the window to have a look. I couldn't stop myself from swinging to the tunes of band (Someone came up from gate to tell that I could be seen so should not ;) ). It was the most exciting moment of the day, with I, dressed up as some model from a wedding designer's portfolio book, dying to locate my groom in the crowd. The immersive view is still very fresh in my mind and no picture or video can be compared to what I can see it as with closed eyes.

My family-to-be were to be welcomed with some Vedic chants and then it was my time to finally go to my groom on the stage, to be his bride. 

Each step towards him had to be taken as if counted (I had received strict instructions to not to march up to the stage !). I was to and so was looking down, but kept asking everybody around me 'Is he looking at me ?' (I wonder why was it so important to know if Nisheeth was looking at me while I was coming to him). He extended his hand to help me come up the stage (though after being coerced by his friends :D )and I thus climbed with his help to stand with him, by him. The dramatic Jaimal took place and we were taken to dance floor (To be true I very much wanted to dance on my wedding  ;) so thanks to all who took us there!!! ). With anxious heart and happy mind I and Nisheeth did swing a little together (I still remember that it was playing 'Sheila Ki Jawani' then, mmmm wish it was Chhamak Chhalo instead  :D .. lollzz ).

After few hours of sitting on the stage and talking to each other while everyone openly scrutinized us and relentless photographers kept forcing us in supposedly 'picturesque poses', we left for dinner (wahaan bhi photographers ne peechhha nahi chhoda,, I wonder if at all they even dined).

It was soon time for me to get ready for wedding ceremony (it meant I had to get into Dress n. 3). Then started hours long riot of Vedic Chants, circles around holy fire and such complicated related rituals. All the time during this too, I and Nisheeth were chatty and smiley (all our pictures and recording has us with ear to ear smile :D ).  Thus the wedding was concluded with sindoor daan and blessings from our wedding. And so I was Mrs Ajita Nisheeth Saxena now :) .

With a few more interesting playful events in between, it was to be time for me to bid bye to my family, relatives and friends to get into my new family, Nisheeth's family (what was interspersed was the stubborn argument on Nisheeth's shoes stolen by my girls, and  :) few sweet answers to me for questions asked to Nisheeth by my friends n cousins  ;)  ). I was somewhere curious to know if I'll finally cry at my vidaai (I am pretty infamous that I never do !), and when the moment arrived, I lived upto everyone's expectations and smilingly hugged my teary mapa and relatives (I know they could and do understand what my feelings were) and left holding Nisheeth's hands firmly, to step into the dreamy world of companionship (in Dress No. 4).

Happy I was;Happy I am; to be blissfully married so .....

Voyage to be Wed.......

That was Nov 1, 2010 when mapa were leaving for Agra and I was in complete agitation and irritation because a day before (31st Oct, my birthday), first time ever, they had mentioned the word 'Marriage' to me. The preconceived notions about the institution of marriage and that too at a stage when I had just started my career, had put my mind in a very bad shape.

But now it was 2011, times had changed and so had my feelings. After exactly one years time, on Nov 1, 2011, I was again bidding bye to mapa, this time happily, as they were going to Allahabad to give final touch to my wedding preparations. The moment mapa got into taxi I felt as if I had never been parted this way with them. It seemed to be a farewell that was to divide all my love and care for them.The feeling was inexplicable.

The countdown had begun; these were my last 5 days of 'single-dom' and last 3 days at home (all on my own).I was still to go to office for a day and then was on leave from Nov 3 (at office people gave me looks that said 'you should have been on leave by now' and I gave them a smile').

Now friends and acquaintances started paying visits (those who wouldn't be coming were coming with wishes and gifts). I was a little disappointed as two of my very specials ones, a friend and a cousin, would not be making it to wedding (certain things are always out of our hands, no matter how well we plan), but I was happy too, as many other special ones had reached or were coming from far and distance. Few of my friends whom I had not met for years made it too. It was good to have their presence during the times when my life was taking a new turn. I was in an excited state of being curious, jittery and edgy; sweetly confused with a lot to be said and heard but no appropriate words to explain.

With numerous things in mind we finally left for Allahabad on Friday, 4th Nov. There were 10 of us including my friends and cousins and relatives for an overnight train journey. We reached Allahabad early in the morning next day. Funny part was, while we were waiting for the taxi at parking I realized that the guy standing adjacent to us was Nisheeth (My Allahabad Aim ;) ) who had come to receive some friends (I was amazed with this beginning); and then started a non-stop leg pulling by my friends and cousins (things said and heard can't be shared here ! lolz).We directly went to the venue from station and for the entire day I had relatives reaching from all over India, one after the other.

Then my 'the-then-would-be-bro-in-law' commenced the Mehendi celebration by bringing in the Haldi and Mehendi from my Sasuraal. Once I was done with my Mehendi application (which was a little strenuous as I had never before sat so very still for so long) started a riot of music and dance. We all danced like crazy. (I go pink when see myself in the video recording). I think even the photographer and DJ must have gone into shock to see a mehendi clad bride-to-be dancing in pajamas (ROFL !).

It was my Bua's birthday too so we had a small cake cutting ceremony and a satiating chicken dinner before getting into bed (I didn't say 'going to sleep' as sleepless with anxiety all of us were, especially I). Next day was to be our Big Day.

Not Single but Mingled !!!!!

5th June 2011, I was on way back from Connaught Place with my cousin and the converstaion was mostly one sided (between me and Vineet its mostly so, I speak and he makes funny faces); I was anxious as it was yet another meeting with a prospective groom and his family in the evening and like past cases I had a prejudiced 'no' in my mind . Vineet knew this and was counseling me to calm down.

Withstanding all the apprehensions and agony, the moment came when we were sitting with a family that could possibly be mine.Glances were exchanged, words shared, drinks taken, and after an hour of awkwardness things settled to discuss further later over telephone, and we dispersed.

Somehow I realized that this time I just couldn't move on,and instead actually wanted to know more (but being myself I would/could never show). So with the desire of hearing more concealed nicely, I got myself engrossed in my life back again. 

But as the ball rolled, our families (thankfully! ) helped us talk more, meet again and left the judgment of our lives on us. A  judgment that had to ornate our lives forever.

The moment is still very clear in my memory when dad asked if it was a 'yes' or 'no' and I very diplomatically had said 'I don't mind'  (but I did mind it very much ! I had butterflies playing soccer in stomach), and dad's words were 'we want you guys to be engaged !'. It echoed non-stop. I gathered all my conscious and called him up to talk out our acceptance. I felt a little above the ground. He seemed to be reciprocating very patiently, but I was in some other world; with mixed feelings, happy-nervous, excited-anxious,gabby-silent; all together and nothing at all.

Carrying this state for a forthnight, we finally got engaged on July 9th at Allahabad (Last time I was here,at my birth place, I was 7 and this was my first visit since then ). I had surprised myself (and shocked a few others later with the news !), not because I agreed and got engaged, but because I was happy to be engaged to this person whom I had met only twice before and was talking to for only 20 days, but I was happy.

Hence forth, my life changed; my weekends got busy and my sms count was on all time high (only then I discovered that when out of memory my phone gives alarms of message not received due to same.. lolzzz !!!). I smiled often, every buzz made people around curious, every time I used laptop I was supposed to be chatting with my fiance (mostly true ! ).I feel funny when I recall what we talked about; we hardly had things in common so still hunting for reasons, we pinged each other, went shopping and savored time together. Had fun throughout the courtship days !

At home, preparations had geared up for the wedding. The day chosen was Nov 6, 2011 and place Allahabad. Venue had been booked and shopping list finalized (and revised and again finalized and yet again revised and so on until I got married !!!!)

Time seemed to have run past in a flash and had landed us into the month of November. In a weeks time, from Miss Ajita S Varma, I was to be Mrs. Nisheeth Saxena.  :)

I am not a patriot !!!

It’s that time of the year again when the country called India gets tricolored all over.  The ‘Tiranga’ waivers in the sky and we inhale tunes of great yesteryears with every breath we take in. The pride, the connection and the respect gets instilled and drips in every action of we. The television channels, the radio stations, the magazines, the newspapers all get dipped in the emotions of patriotism.

But I don’t.

Yes it’s true, that I am not a patriot because I don’t.

I don’t get angry when my neighbor is murdered because she married the one she loved; instead go in hidings in fear of being found as a witness. I don’t try to wipe the tears of a naked hungry child on the road, who is the future of our nation, instead I shoo him away of his being dirty. I don’t bother about littering the roads of my mother nation, I like to crib that she doesn’t shine the way the country of my dreams does. I don’t save a pregnant lady from dying due to malnutrition and lack of medical supervision, but check instead if she can pay my fee for the same. I don’t help those who go out and out to teach the one’s who didn’t have the luxury to be taught, instead I prefer going for a movie on the same issue. I don’t try to be a part of the prestigious defense authorities who enable us call our nation as ours. I don’t play the games I like to watch, but I do get furious when others don’t play the way we want them to. I don’t oblige traffic rules, as I prefer practicing the skills of my favorite video game on roads too. I don’t stop the mob from destroying public property, because a truck hit a bus, instead I join them in their destructive anger. I don’t discourage people from participating in ‘Bandhs’ when my country is still healing from the wounds of economic jolt and people are dying of hunger as they need wages to buy food. I don’t say ‘I won’t’ when someone seeks bribery from me, as I need to get my work done anyhow. I don’t stop my family from taking bribes, as that adds to my bank balance. I don’t vote, as voting booths are not air conditioned and queues are too long. I don’t give my candidature in elections as I have heard that my country’s politics is too dirty to step in. I don’t care to use or respect any of the provided tools of constitution to make my country as I would wish it to be.

And so I am not a patriot, but I am not a hypocrite either.

Tell Me What Do I Do !

We have adjusted with the rhythm of catastrophe,

But it’s not our resilience, it’s our helplessness,

Tell me what do I do to stop the loss;

Everytime a train derails, everytime a bomb explodes,

I grieve and pray for souls of demised,

But there is a question that pinches me throughout,

Tell me what do I do to stop the loss;

I have been a spectator for years now,

But its time I take charge perhaps,

It’s not a revolutionary step,

But my concern for our Right to Live,

Tell me what do I do to stop the loss;

There is a debate that is it my suppleness or my livelihood,

I have come back on roads that were burning yesterday,

 I am travelling again on the trains that go through same tracks,

But my heart still skips a beat when I see those spots,

Tell me what do I do stop the loss;

I am not anguished it’s my fear

I want to live but not hiding from a spear

I need salvation I crave credence

I beg you to please not test my perseverance

Please tell me what do I do to stop the loss.

The Udaan Song

I do enjoy watching movies but always consider the reviews before investing my

time into them. So did I, for the movie Udaan.

Udaan indeed was worth all the acclaim it received, but this review I have written

is not for the movie; instead for one of the background scores of the movie.

All the songs in movie have very deep influential lyrics, but the one that has

been making me dumb folded ever since I heard it is a beautiful rock composition

called ‘Naav’ , written by lyricist Amitabh Bhattacharya and sung and composed by

Mohan, Joi Barua, Neuman Pinto.

This song churns me in and out every time I hear it (in fact I no more just hear it

but listen to it), and pushes me to fight against all odds.

Very tactfully it first questions the subject, of his capabilities and reason of

failure, who is seemingly trapped in an enormous storm and is struggling against it.

This phenomenal metaphor provokes us to ponder if any roadblock is big enough

to make us spend our lives in its shadow and not try overcoming it; height of our

problems is inversely related to our determination.

Though the times might be very difficult but are never to give up, are to gather

all our strength and fight out with anticipation of victory. The joy of surviving

and winning over the biggest storms is intoxicating, but this victory first needs

courage and self belief, and then a victorious forceful forward strike. Storms will

always trap and tussle, but one who bravely collects himself and emerges out with

flying colors is then worshipped by the storm itself.

The song very much reminds me of the much repeated words of Paulo Coelho from

the Alchemist,

‘When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that

person to realize his dream.’

Still listening……

Thanks to Amitabh for giving birth to a ray of hope, an inspiration.

Have it ya’ll : http://www.bollyexclusive.com/play/28259.html

Love the way you lie......

Music is the only sanity left in this otherwise insane world. This gift of God to the human kind has given meaning to many meaningless lives; ones who had lost all hope have revived and started living back again. It can bring strange realizations and enlightment. Sometimes what world fails to make us understand by simply talking or writing to us, rhythm conveys it very beautifully and impact fully.

Some similar impact brings the song, ‘I love the way you lie’ by Eminem and Rihanna.

The song starts with Rihanna’s ironical acceptance that sometimes we knowingly take in the poison as is tastes too sweet to be given away.  Even though the truth might be on our faces yet we don’t accept it as the illusion of the lie being a truth overrides our practicality. The infectious sweet pain makes us addictive to it and we get lost in our hallucinations. This is what the blind faith meets to. To break the walls of this illusion and walk away needs a big leap else this intoxication of false pleasure burns us away.

As the song proceeds, Eminem sings his heart out that though he knows that the wrong doings have hurt his girl and all his promises have turned hostile, yet he can’t stop from wanting her. Though the mistakes are known, and truth and lie is indentified yet the passion becomes wildness and saturates one in the same insanity of desire that burns not just the host but his world too.

Do listen to this song…. It has everything to take you over, not just the literal meaning but the metaphor is hitting harder….. Little too savage, yet addictive……

http://www2.mp3raid.com/search/download-mp3/14381349/eminem_love_the_way_you_lie.html

Hunger

This world sustains,

because of people’s insatiable hungers.

Some are hungry for bread,

others for power.

Hunger for bread can be satiated,

But hunger for power can never be.

labourers labor,

servicemen serve,

traders trade,

to satisfy their hunger for bread.

Rulers exploit,

Politicians play dirty politics,

Business tycoons cheat,

to satisfy their hunger for power.

What a difference between two types of same thing!

One makes man to add to the world’s beauty,

Other makes man to steal what world has.

One gives peace of mind, on satisfaction,

Other is never satisfied.

And only whets megalo maniac’s appetite!